If we lived in a mirror

If we lived in a mirror

would we know?

could we ever see?

That one lived in an image

of all that could never be

If we dived into quantum

would we ever question?

could we ever see?

That the picture we painted

was an illusion of colors

reflected on sea

 “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

1 Corinthians 13:12

Living with fatigue

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Before fatigue hit me a couple of years ago, I had no idea that it was even possible to reach such a tired and worn state. On my worst days the words, “I am sick and tired of always being tired” keep returning. As this chronic state does not seem to improve, only fluctuate it is time to share. It all started when I had worked part-time at a cafe for addicts as a volunteer for six months. Suddenly sounds became muffled, I was unable to process information and my inner world became silent. Even the addicts looked at me funny when I could not even process what they had just said they wanted on their plate. I was forced to quit, and not only that but to spend as many hours as possible in my bed with no sensory input. Only taking care of the absolutely necessary to do tasks.

My health has improved from that initial six months of extreme fatigue, but has never returned to normal. This has forced me to give up things that I love, like jogging, exercising and I am barely holding on to line dance. Often having to pay a price of two days of relaxing to recover. Everything in my life has become sort of an energy budget. One unforeseen busy week can turn into two to three weeks of scaling everything down. Normal tiredness is nothing compared to a state of needing close to zero sensory input for hours just to regain normal functioning. What bothers me most with this draining condition are the limitations it causes in terms of friends and acquaintances. There are so many, family members and friends that are hoping and wishing for more from me. It feels like I have abandoned so many. How I wish that was not the case.

The hope has always been that my health returns to normal, and therefore I have never really accepted my new reality. Never talked much about it because I know what it is like not having a clue what it is like. It would have been impossible for me to fathom prior to this experience. However, there are some few positives to this whole thing. I have learned to become very patient, not to mention accepting of challenging moments and when in recovery phases it is very peaceful and silent. In fact, I am kind of unable to think much at all.

So, now you know. Thank you for reading ❤

Love as in; Action

Love as in; Action

No, not physical attraction

amusing distraction

No endless empty caching

About nothing exciting

No boring hues

Driving people into shades of blue

Because they cannot breathe

and live, Live in our presence

Reciting dead words for deaf ears

because we lost our cheers

Our joy drowning in a motionless state

It is time to be awake

Alive, present, loving and kind

Not stuck behind the bars of a fearful mind

Where is the laughter?

The happily ever after?

voice in a loving song

why do we not sing along?

&dance to the tunes?

be one with the moves?

or do we not truly believe that God is alive?

For he does not walk on a stagnant pond

Where the shallow drowns

The God perspective

Does God live in this book?

Is this book alive?

Do the words in this book fully describe our infinite Creator?

Or do the words merely point towards the living and active Word?

Does our interpretations of these words in this book define God?

Or is God alive and therefore defines himself; I am

Through a profound experience in my life with the Word

This book was written

Now does God live in this book?

No, it merely points towards him because infinity cannot be captured in piecemeal human words

First and foremost our first Love, the Word, is found in our hearts

We need to stop limiting God by not opening up to the fact that we do not have all the answers

Uncertainty is hard, I know.

I am not the most courageous person myself

However, the truth is that no one has all the right answers and one hundred percent the right interpretations but;

We do not need that to Love the way of Love

To love others like ourselves

We need a relationship with our Father based on truth

Finding our way to him as his children knowing that we know less than the parent, but that is why he wants to take care of us

Life is fragile, handle with prayer

The Way of Love

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.  And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;  it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part,  but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.  For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

You

You

You are part of a dream of mine

Yes, you

&like you it is one a kind

It just is

What I call bliss

Love without a scheme

A shining beam

The pearl of my dream

No fabricated reality

or distorted normality

One without a seam

No scheme or night

Oh so bright and pleasant to our sight

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

1 John 4:8

A congregation of only me

I find it rather hard to be

A congregation of only me

There is still dispute and conflict

&even things that contradict

An endless search for events to unfold

For someone to finally find the untold

Girl left out in the cold

Someone not stuck in the vain

To come and explain

&why I am always of the lowest caste

Maybe a nobody like me could also see

All the things hidden in our mirror at sea